the wheel of life

a little insight into the current energies present in my life:

having lived in a little quiet corner of the world for the last 11 months, the thought of leaving and going back to riding the waves of mainstream civilisation creates a mixture of excitement and anxiety in my chest.

prior to moving here i had visions of a simple life. a slower life surrounded by nature and like-minded people. what i received was that and more. life in the external means: home, job and social life, had an air of simplicity you would only find if you if step away from the mainstream flow of society.

one of the things i have discovered is that when your external slows down, your internal world may not. my self-worth, confidence, inner peace and strength was questioned, challenged and broken down. it felt even more challenging because even though at times i didn't feel 100%, saying "i need today off because my mind needs a rest" is not something people hear or say often.

i have learnt to voice out my needs. to create and hold my personal boundaries. to accept that life, situations, events, people and my ideas will continue to come and go. that the ebbs and flows of life can actually be helpful and beneficial with helping us grow. that emotions need to be felt and be allowed to flow through our bodies, instead of shutting them down. that being vulnerable and open is damn hard, but necessary if living a free and abundant life is something you resonate with.

affirmations have been written in my journal on a constant basis.

gratitude practised.

deep breathing in moments of inner turmoil.

my feet has returned to the yoga mat over and over again.

songs has been sung, with fingers strumming on the guitar.

web and social media consumption made with mindfulness and intention.

i have somehow manifested a mirror that continues to reflect the depths of my soul. he has come riding on his own path, open and committed to showing up and sharing this journey together. it has been unexpected. wholesome. intense at times. heart opening. scary. hopeful. it is an experience filled with gratitude and appreciation, for each other and for what life has offered through this union.

this life's vision continues to show itself to me in moments of clarity. but i still get confused. overwhelmed. scared. frustrated. i reflect on the last few years and sometimes get disheartened that my wandering soul seems to lead me no where. but these are the times to practice trusting that i can find magic in the mundane. that even if i seem to be scattered and lost, i am still whole, complete and perfect. that even though the unpaved path may seem like a dark abyss of nothingness, that creation lies in the ashes of endings.

as this phase of my life draws to a completion, i ground into the earth's core and lean back on to the belief that my intuition will guide me forward. that i am supported in more ways than one. and that i have the strength to make it through.