What Painful Periods Are Teaching Me
- sustainatives
- Oct 1, 2021
- 8 min read
On one hand, pain during periods are, well… painful. Sometimes absolute agony.
On the other hand, it really shows me how well I’ve been looking after myself. Or in this month’s case: how I haven’t been looking after myself.
I’ve had period cramps for many years, but the last couple of years have been different. The pain has sometimes been debilitating to the point I can’t muster the energy to even get off the bed or the floor.
Entering the work place has been a constant source of anxiety, knowing I’ll either be asking for a lot of days off or perhaps tell my potential employers that I have debilitating period cramps and risk not getting the job. When my period arrives and I have a shift on at work, I would feel guilty for asking the day off. I would also feel guilty asking days off in advance so they can at least plan for my absence.
I’ve somehow managed the last couple of years, my most recent job was at a Float studio as a float facilitator (or as most people know them ‘sensory deprivation tanks’, although the name has changed to REST; Reduced Environment Stimulation Therapy). My colleagues and bosses were all women and it was also a very peaceful place to work, even when it was busy. I felt I was able to communicate my needs for rest and slowing down, although I still struggled with some inner critic around guilt.
The work exchange situation I’m at right now has been one of the most places I’ve felt safe to communicate these needs too. Even though I’ve been friends with this family for 2 years, I’ve only really felt my walls go down and really let myself be vulnerable and into my experience the last couple of months of living with them.
For those who don’t know what it’s like to have painful periods:
The placement of the pain for me can be just below my belly button in a singular spot, or more towards my hip bones, and can sometimes spread towards my legs.
For me it comes in waves. I would rate the highest point anywhere between 7/10 to 9/10 (10 being the most painful). And the lowest point being anywhere between 0/10 to 5/10. I am saving my 10/10 for a time when the pain is so bad that no pain killers can make it go away.
The pain itself is hard to describe. It feels both like a pressure outwards, as well as that part of my body being squeezed together really tight. For prolonged periods of time.
Painkillers
Before my period in July 2021, I hadn’t taken pain killers in 2 years, perhaps more. For anything. I used to grieve at the thought of taking them, knowing they will take me out of my experience, and how painkillers are being over-used in society; I didn’t want to contribute to the mindset of ‘make the pain go away so I can continue doing the same action that created the pain in the first place’. I completely acknowledge there are people in the world who can’t survive without painkillers, that even the simple act of getting up and out of bed wouldn’t be possible without them. That for those two years I’ve felt I had a choice with taking them or not.
But what does this say about our society? That people are being driven to continually choose living with intense or chronic physical pain. That our health care systems can sometimes be caught up in treating symptoms and emergency situations, and not have the opportunity to actually help people be healthy. I used to be angry at the health care system, feeling like they’re failing people. Sure, they are great with keeping people alive, but when it comes to actually helping people live…
But now I just feel sad.
I would love to see more integrated western and eastern medicine in the same space. In the same health clinic. Either a single practitioner bringing both together, or multiple health care providers from different areas coming together.
Okay… that was a slight curve in the tangent.
What I’m trying to portray here is that choosing to take painkillers, for me, is a big deal.
I realised this last month, when one day I was yelling out and sobbing as the pain spread all over the bottom half of my body and had to call my friend to deliver some painkillers because I couldn’t do the 2 minute walk to the main house to get some. However, I didn’t change much about my behaviours after that period passed.
I still ate terribly, sometimes late at night, sometimes junky food when I was in the city. Missing meals, not eating enough of a variety or necessary healthy fats, fibre, carbohydrates and protein.
My sleep pattern was all over the place, never going to bed any earlier than 10pm, but sometimes needing to wake up at 6am (it’s winter here and I’m feeling the need for more hours of sleep).
And not moving my body on a regular basis. Not only this, but I spent a lot of time on screens where I’d move so little my body felt sore when I got up.
Basically, a direct line to disaster.
So really, it shouldn’t have been a surprise to have had such painful cramps this month. But it was. Especially since it lasted for 3 days. Usually I’d get some 5/10 or 6/10 cramps that lingers for a day or two max. But this period, it was absolute agony at times. I took painkillers 4 times in a space of 2 days, other wise I was writhing on the floor, moaning and groaning and sobbing and crying out loud and almost screaming. I would get so exhausted from the tension I’d hold when the pain rose up. All I could do in between the waves of pain was nod off to sleep, until it came up again.
Diving into Books
I decided on Day Two of this month’s period that I either need to work with a doctor or a naturopath (again), or make some serious behavioural changes. I’m deciding to do a bit of both.
I bought a couple of audiobooks around women’s health and will listen to them in the upcoming weeks. One of them is Alisa Vitti’s Womancode. I have the hardcopy version, but I’m finding these days I take dense information in better when I listen to it, perhaps while doing some chores and jobs around the house or when I’m driving long-distances to visit friends and family. Another is Dr Christiane Northrup’s Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. Lisa Hendrickson-Jack’s The Fifth Vital Sign. I also discovered Wild Power by Alexandra Pope and Shane Hugo Wurlitzer which has been fascinating already and I’m only on the first chapter. It’s basically sharing how engaging with the menstrual cycle can be a spiritual practice to help us connect and ground into our lives (for those who menstruate).
Not only this, I hope to find a mentor who can support me with creating some changes. That could be a naturopath, who may be able to give me direct feedback on areas to improve, or doing a course that helps me deepen my relationship to my menstrual cycle. I may also need to go to a doctor to confirm if I have something more serious like Endometriosis.
What am I learning so far?
I need to make some serious changes. Otherwise, the pain will stay and it will continue affecting my life.
My areas to begin with are my nutrition, sleep and body movement (aka exercise, although I prefer call it body movement to move away from it being just about fitness).
My first step is to learn from people who also had painful periods. Alexandra Pope is one. Nicole Jardim. Alissa Vitti. Women in this field who have a lot to offer in terms of information, wisdom and support.
Also, it’s empowering. It is an act of self-love to engage with my menstrual cycle. It’s deeply embedded into my existence, and into the existence of life. Being a passive passenger just invites pain and suffering.
My Intention
An exercise form Alexandra and Sjanie’s free Hormone Harmony course (fantastic place to start for anyone who wishes to engage with their menstrual cycle).
‘Declare your intention’.
I intend to continue learning, and strengthening the strands of self-love practices.
To honour the sings that arise from my actions- may that be from ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ behaviours.
To be so intimate with life, that the act of living itself is medicine and nourishment to all I cross paths with, as well as for my own journey.
To explore and deepen my relationship to the flows of life, to the sexual energy, to food, to movement of my body, to the Earth, the hearts and visions of others, to the elements, to the mysteries of life and to my inner compass.
More Resources
Other places to explore for those who also wish to engage more with your menstrual cycle and explore what you can learn from this process:
SuperFeast Podcast- Women's Series
Fertility Friday Radio Podcast
Period Party Podcast
Dr. Lara Briden: Hormone Repair for Women Over 40
Femme Head YouTube Channel
Courses
Here are a few courses you could explore that may provide deeper support and a community. Keep in mind they originate from different 'lineages', and some have certain pathways and origins (some more scientific based, while others are more rooted in spiritual practices).
Nicole Jardim:
Nicole also has other programs around hormones and blood sugar and birth control. She has written Fix Your Period.
Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer from Red School
Hormone Harmony (free course)
Alexandra and Sjanie also offer other courses for menstruators, but also for people who are going through menopause. They've co-written Wild Power (link below).
Victoria from Femme Head
Chart Your Cycle course using the sympto-thermal method, which has origins in Fertility Awareness Method (different to the Rhythm Method!)
Victoria also has a course on ditching the pill and charting your cycle if you wish to get pregnant
Alisa Vitti from Flo Living
Alissa has a lot of resources on her website around healing and balancing your hormones. She has written two books on this: Womancode (link below) and In The Flo.
Disclaimer: I haven’t done any of these, but found them in process of exploring what’s out there as support for this journey.
Lisa Hendrickson-Jack on Fertility Friday Radio
Fertility Awareness Mastery Self-Study
Lisa's work is around spreading the message about the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) and has also written The Fifth Vital Sign (link below).
Links:
Books
Womancode by Alisa Vitti
Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Dr Christiane Northrup
The Fifth Vital Sign by Lisa Hendrickson-Jack
Wild Power by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer
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