where i'm at with social media: march 2021
- sustainatives
- Mar 10, 2021
- 5 min read
Updated: Mar 22, 2021
I sometimes forget that I have this platform. Having hopped back on Instagram (for a hot minute- more on this later. As in in another post), it is so easy for me to get lost in it’s never ending vortex (seriously, has there been someone out there who has gone on Instagram, or other social media platforms, and experimented with how far they get, say after 24 hours worth of scrolling and clicking on content? where did it take them?), and be very narrow minded when it comes to forms of expression.
But truth is, there are people reading this blog. If you’re someone who has joined my email list: thank you very much. I appreciate the support. Although you may not have joined because you’re wanting to support this blog (and that's okay), but rather because you resonate with my words. Whatever you’re reason may be: I appreciate you tuning in and reading my expressions.
I’m currently house-sitting in a quiet valley. I used to live here, for a year, and is also where I met my partner, so this place holds a special spot in my heart.
But I haven’t really been present to it as much as I can be. I have easily spent… 6 hours on Instagram creating content and consuming content, in the last 4 days.
I got off a Zoom call with my mentor, Claire (if you’re interested in rewilding, deep ecology, working with the feminine energy, and nature based practices, I would highly suggest checking out her website Nature’s Apprentice), ate some late lunch, and felt called to pick up a book off the shelf and read a novel. I ended up starting Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell. I was a little confused as to what was going on in the first couple of pages, but 9 pages in and I feel like I’m going to enjoy this book.
(Future me: I've just read the synopsis of the book- I've heard about the book before, and I've read Animal Farm in high school, but it feels exactly what I need to read right now! I'm excited to see how Orwell expresses his concerns around the themes the book touches on).
It inspired me to share this passage with you
“It was curious that he seemed not merely to have lost the power of expressing himself, but even to have forgotten what it was that he had originally intended to say.”
~ George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four
The thought that popped into my head was:
“This is how I feel when I’m using social media.”
I'd like to explain.
Whenever I use social media to ‘express myself’ (ie share about my experiences), there’s a part of me that feels it unnecessary. Not only this, but I wonder what value it brings into people’s lives.
Even if I’m sharing the most authentic, genuine, wholesome content, I still feel like I’d rather talk about it with my friends, instead of just publicly putting it out for the world to see.
Not only this, but online places like social media can feel very loud and hold strong energies around what’s deemed as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ways to live your life.
Basically, I’ve been feeling the absence of connection on these platforms. The connection that some people advocate about on their feeds or YouTube channels. The connection that these platforms push forward, even labelling it as ‘social’ media. The connection that we, as people, need to live a life where we are thriving. Not only this, we need deep connections to support our growing, learning and healing.
Social media can be a tool for this, but it can also prevent us from cultivating and nurturing the connections that’s around us ie family, friends, your immediate community.
A new discovery.
I’ve (ironically, once again) discovered another app called Mojo Mecca. Mojo Mecca is "an informative, fun, expansive, inspiring artistic media hub" (Mojo Mecca) originally founded by a fellow Australian woman named Chloe. I’ve been following her journey on and off since 2016, and resonate with a lot of the content she shares on her platforms. One thing I appreciate about Chloe is her grounded approach to the content she shares, and the authenticity she ‘seems’ to- since I don’t really know her in person- embody. I downloaded Mojo Mecca yesterday, and have 14 days worth free to trial the app. From what I’ve heard it’s a $5/month subscription afterwards.
What I’m getting from the app is that Chloe is trying hold an online/on-screen space for those interested in healing, art and community.
A short, funny story.
I used to live in Melbourne in 2017, and worked in a beautiful food store in Fitzroy. One day I saw Chloe walking past with a friend. I was shocked that someone I follow online is only within metres away from me. I wanted to go up to her and say hello, but felt shy and insecure. I didn’t know what to say. It felt silly saying “I follow you on Instagram and YouTube!” Funnily enough, she’d paused near the door of the store doing something with her shoes. I wonder if she felt my energy of wanting to connect (that sounds very woohoo, I know)? I was so conflicted but then decided not to go up, mostly out of fear. In many ways I wish I did, but I’m also glad I didn’t. It felt intrusive somehow; I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about going out with a friend for someone to then come up to me saying they follow me on social media.
Back to the app.
I’m still learning about it, and seeing what it offers/can offer my journey. I felt excited that there may be an alternative platform for me to engage with on a much more connective way, even if I have to pay a subscription to so, but I’m also feeling some apprehension since it’s only a few months old and still has certain features that social media also has (likes and following people). It also has some differences, that I’m curios about. Maybe I’ll write up another post after my 14 day free trial is over.
A quick update on my thoughts about being on Instagram again.
I don't want to say it, but right now, I hate Instagram. Rather I hate my behaviours around it. 'Hate' is something I don't say often as I feel it's quite a strong negative energy.
I both want to own my unhealthy patterns when I'm on the platform, as well as continue questioning the nature of social media.
As I mentioned on there: I don't have any logical reason why, but it feels really important for me to examine why I use social media and it's role in my life. I hold no clarity at this stage what this all means, I'm just practicing trusting there's something there for me to listen to.
I'm not 'back on' Instagram forever, it feels like another short experiment. To face my problems, rather than avoiding them. I feel like I'm going to stop using it at some point in my life, but it doesn't feel like that's right now. Perhaps soon, or it could be another couple of years yet.
Thank you for reading.
I invite you now to take a deep breath, and if you feel comfortable doing so, let out a big sigh on your exhale.
Let's bring some awareness back to our bodies and hearts for a moment.
Before you move on to the next thing, allow yourself a moment to pause.
I hope you have a beautiful day.
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